truth is i stopped thinking for a while, my brain just slowed down it's processing speed and rebooted, new operating system. the differences are 
only noticeable in detachment, so i moved up close to the source and turned off the flow of useless information, politics, reading, opinion, speculation, chitter chatter, background noise, just kept listening to that k and k cd over and over, i got a sneaky remix cd as well so i often alternate which gives me a lot of pleasure, i love that music but even then, there comes a time when you strip down naked to the bone and there's nothing even there to assess what's what!
then through some miraculous healing you are reborn, with your new systems, and the strange thing is it feels like it was there all the time.
as you strip away the layers you begin to notice a hypersensitivity to the natural world, attuned, you perceive it as beauty, raw beauty, your love for it grows and you plunge into gardening. you don't know what your really doing, you're just working with land, and the land. 
the land takes over you, it occupies your time, maintaining, nurturing, nourishing you just loose yourself in it and then somewhere up the time line you have grown. 
that's the loop i'm in.