Friday, May 31, 2013

in the deepest of dreams i was reunited with tim, in england of all the places, at my parents old home. i don't quite know how i met him, but he was there, he wanted to buy some shoe laces but refused to shop at any large shop. i took him to a small independent place. we returned home and he had a sleep, i went out to work.
my job was a strange new job working as a door to door salesman or delivery man. i could never be certain exactly what i was doing, picking things up or dropping things off. embedded in this job was another job, distributing marijuana to people who were in pain, terminally ill, post traumatic war veterans. the frail and old, chronic arthritis sufferers, lonely depressed housewives and any one who was in any kind of pain.
on my way to one pace i passed a moor where very large eagles sat in a thick low laying mist, you could see the tops of their heads sticking out from this blanket of cotton wool fog. 
the grounds were being used for construction in the very near future, the moors needed clearing and a small team of environmental people had the government sponsored task of capturing and relocating the eagles. i watched them working and then made my way to the next appointment. on the way i stepped over an area that was wet and connected two large lakes, down in the dirt i saw what appeared to be an iphone. it rang, glowing incandescently under a layer of muddy water. i didn't answer it but picked it up and thought to return it to its owner if i could work out whom it belonged to.
then i made my deliveries, some sexy housewives in skimpy french numbers, some tragically sick frail people, and two young brothers, all seemed to know me, some were giving me bundles of art, others complained about the slowness of the company i worked for, some offered me a joint and some hungrily accepted the  bags of grass i tossed at them, offering me a roll of cash.
later i returned home and tim was up and about, he was struggling with the laces.
i made him something to eat, my brother came home and i introduced him. i spoke about how i thought he was dead, how it upset me, and how i moved away from everything i know. i told him about that strange walk i had through avalon where everyone came out to hug me and how i never went to the funeral. tim laughed out loud, he said he had just left and gone to india. he looked the same, huge, bald and dressed gregariously but he was somewhat softer, more gentle. i asked him bout the david ikce book he had been reading. he reached the same conclusion as i had, i asked him if he would stay around and he said yes. my mother appeared and tim introduced himself, they spoke for a while, and then tim and i decided it was time to return to australia. outside his car sat, the same old beaten up black bmw.
in my dream i was happy, i had found my friend again.
when i woke up i wrote this, i don't know what it means yet, i think in some ways it just means tim is somewhere, existing in some form, and he wants me to know he's okay.
as far as the eagles, well the crow symbolised tim's death so i'll intuitively leap to the eagle being a rebirth. perhaps tim returned this morning, with a new body, perhaps he will seek me out as before. perhaps the phone was a communication symbol, the mist obscure and mysterious other worldly. perhaps the shoe laces are the ties that connect us, perhaps its wishful thinking on my part but i feel reconciled now.


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