Saturday, May 18, 2013

i'd run short of jazz cigarettes, this rarely happens and because i had recently returned from an overseas jaunt i was caught unawares so when i rang my dealer i was most distressed to learn she was out of town and not back for a few weeks. 
now, let me just say that there are many paces to pick up a bag of grass, however i happen to be very careful about what i smoke, and my preferences are for bio-dynamically 'grown with love' grass from a reliable and karmically pure source. 
i was fucked, i didn't have a plan b for a situation like this, it just never occurred to me that my dealer would take a holiday, i never thought i would run out.
i was pacing up and down like a lazy tiger trying to solve a conundrum, i made a few calls to some fringe dwellers i met a few years ago in the hills but hung up before they answered, i didn't want to do small talk and those fringe folk do small talk. fuck it, i opened my fridge and looked at all the other substances, herbal remedies, magic mushrooms, some african super viagra type plant medicine, a few smart drugs, mmm, nothing i needed at the moment. 
i drove down to the witches, they may be able to fix me up.
elesbeth opened the door and smiled, 'mission, come on in.'
'hey you look great els, how have you been?'
'i'm good, very good, we are all good.'
'where are the sisters.'
'ah they will be upset they missed you mission, you should have rang first.'
'ah yeah sorry, i'm wondering if you have any grass, i hate to ask but i'm out,'
elbeth looked at me disapprovingly, she was wearing a long cardigan and her reading glasses, nothing else. she poured me a tea, 'mission, i don't deal in that stuff, you know that.'
'yeah but i'm desperate and there's no one else to ask.'
she sat opposite me and watched while i sipped my tea, it was bitter and tasted awful, i spat it out.
'what the fuck is this els.'
'it's nettle tea mission, drink it up, there's a good boy.'
mmm those fucking witches had a way with me not many women have, i sipped the awful green liquid reluctantly.
elsbeth was lost in thought, i scanned the room, loads of books and astrological charts, bottles of weird shit, candles and a nesspresso coffee machine.
i knocked back the rest of the tea, 'mmm, it's not so bad, kinda nasty at first but seems to grow on you.'
'yes mission, it should help your bones,' she looked directly at me, elsbeth had a knack for getting me to do things i would never normally do, she was quite a soft spoken person and very attractive but she seemed to have this inner power and resilience that just opened up and peered into your soul, as if all secrets were open to her and nothing could hide. it's unnerving and to be honest a bit spooky which is why i don't often see the witches. but i think there's a sexual tension there to, something i'm somewhat nervous about, i mean these three witches are stunning ladies but they are kinda kooky, even for me. if it wasn't for my requirements i would not even be here.
'now mission, i can't help you in your weed department, but i have something else you may like to try.'
'err, mmm, well i do find you attractive elsbeth, you know that...'
'mission, i'm not suggesting that, i have some under the counter stuff. the girls all thought you should have it, we were waiting for your birthday.'
'oh, oh, i'm sorry, i thought...'
there was that awkward space, not quite long enough for me to fall into, '...you know.'
'mission this is hardcore gear, you must be careful, don't smoke it all at once.'
'okay elsbeth, okay whatever you say.'
she hands over a small silk pouch, pink, i open it up, it's half filled with a powder that looks like cocaine, except it's not white. it's purple.
'what is it, i've never seen anything like it, it has no smell, it feels like sand, looks like cocaine and tastes like...' i'm about to lick my finger and stick it in the bag but elsbeth stops me.
'no mission, not now, tonight, after sunset otherwise it won't work.'
'what is it?
'fairy dust.'
so after an awkward kiss goodbye, i hightail it back to mission control with my bag of fairy dust.
i spend the rest of the day cleaning up the garden, weeding, picking up leaves and mowing the lawn, waiting for the sun to set. i take a shower, clean myself up, brush my teeth obsessively and trim my unruly beard . outside it's getting dark, dusk, i figure i'll just prepare the powder but as i sit down i make a decision i will come to regret. i decide to snort the dust, not smoke it.
there's no explanation for my actions, it goes against all i know, i would never disrespect the witches or their gifts, i would never snort anything but the idea just seemed lodged in my head and began to determine my actions. in fact the idea i should smoke a little of the dust didn't even register, no, this was going up my nose into my brain and i was going to use it all in one huge line across the kitchen bench. fuck the protocols, the fairies won't mind, why should i listen to the witches anyway, they hold no power over me. 
i rolled up a crisp hundred and stuck it into my nostril, the line of purple dust went on about 20cm. i snorted half with one nostril and the remainder went up the other. i straightened my back, stretched up to reach the ceiling, my body needed a massage, it was tense and contracting. i couldn't feel anything but had a strange taste in my mouth, a dry sensation, so i poured myself a tea and sat on the lounge. the fairy dust wasn't working, maybe i should have smoked it after all. 
i sipped at the tea, and i must have closed my eyes momentarily for when i opened them i was not at mission control.



  

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