i'd been in voids before, darkness was a comfort zone, so i was not particularly scared but this wasn't exactly darkness, it was layers of shadows, like being in a two dimensional forest, silhouetted with gnarly black trees, i couldn't really see them clearly but knew they were there, against a dark background i found myself taking careful steps forwards through this wood, the floor felt soft and bouncy and the air tasted bitter, just like that nettle tea elesbeth had given me. no i wasn't scared of being in the darkness but i was getting freaked out slightly by the whispering chatter i could hear.
it was so soft it barely registered at first, but it was getting louder and it became clear, whomever was speaking was talking about me.
snippets of conversations registered but otherwise it all seemed discordant. 
'he should have listened to her.'
'he didn't.'
'wicked human.'
'ghosted himself.'
'wandering the realms'
i called out, 'elesbeth, is that you?
the sound of laughter, 'he's calling out her name but he's lost.'
'i heard that and i'm not lost,' i lied, 'i know exactly where i am. why don't you come out and talk with me.'
i carried on walking, one step at a time, i felt the sides of a tree, it did have a depth, it was huge, i couldn't really see details but felt the cold bark on the truck it seemed to recoil away, it's branches creaking and i quickened my pace heading towards the sounds of the laughter.
it didn't take me long to realise the laughter was moving away from me the more i attempted to close in on it so i stopped walking and stood still, waiting to see what would happen.
'fuck it, fucking stupid fairy dust,' the works slipped out, and i regretted them immediately. 
whatever chatter there was suddenly ceased. i was beset by a silence so unnatural it sent a shiver through my spine and for the first time i recognised fear. 
there was a breeze upon my face and then the sudden appearance of thousands of fireflies, thousands, perhaps millions, moving all over the place like a maverick swarm whose radars were broken, but almost seconds after this chaotic display the swarm took shape and assembled itself into a human shape. 
i watched as the tiny lights began to flicker off and the outline of a woman stood before me.
the lights in her eyes ablaze like some sort of fantasy creature from the kingdoms of tolkein.
when the detail came she was indeed beautiful, radiating a gentle kindness and divinity i could barely grasp, i fell to my knees. it wasn't even a conscious falling, i couldn't help it, for she was grace herself.
'i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to snort the fairy dust and i didn't really think its stupid. i am sorry, please forgive me, i don't know what came over me.' i was blabbering like a spoilt baby, not really possessing the faculty to cease. she put her hand upon my cheek, 'there, there, lost one.'
'where is this place' i asked?
'you are in fairy land now, a long way from home.'
i nodded thinking, off course i am in fairy land, where else could i be.
'you will come with me,' she waved her hands and some light seemed to pour out from her fingertips,'welcome to the opalarium.'
and indeed i was transported to a red room where upon the fairy queen, if indeed she was, stood before me, looking quite wonderful in her white sequinned dress and displaying her wings, that spread open about twice the size of her arms in length and seemed to comprise of some intricate web pattern that glistened and sparkled behind her. 
i tried to compose myself but i was still pretty shaken, i cursed myself for snorting the stupid dust, fucking idiot i should have listened to the god dammed witches.
'now captain mission, we have a problem.'
i wasn't sure how she knew whom i was, but i knew better to question the fairy queen so i listened to her carefully, 'you are an uninvited visitor to this realm and therefore ignorant of the laws, and i think i should explain some of the laws of the fairy queendom lest you find yourself in deeper shit.'
i nodded attentively. 
the first law is that love is the law, it conquers all in this universe, remember that mission or perish.'
'love is the law,' i repeated.
the second law can be summed up in these eloquent words, death before dishonour. you must keep your personal integrity at all times mission, even at the face of death, you know this to be true yet you have trouble applying this, in this universe if you transgress this law you will die.'
'i'll bare that in mind.'
'good now listen well to the third law mission. beauty is life and therefore your duty is to protect beauty although it is eternal it is fragile and must be defended at all times.'
'beauty is life, i understand.'
'good captain mission, i hope you do. for know that the next law is also very important and must always be adhered to. never forget a debt captain mission, that means you must never forget an act of kindness but equally never forget a cruel act. to do so will bring our harmony and balance into chaos.'
i nodded.
'these are the laws of the seelie court and you must now live by them for this is the code that will keep you alive.'
'okay i can do that.'
'no you can't do that, it's why you are here and not in your own mortal realm. you transgressed and therefore you have been punished.'
'punished?'
'yes you can never leave this court, never return to the mortal realms.'
'but i can't stay here, i have a dog, i have to go to work and then there's the kilbey kennedy show coming up, i can't miss that?'
'you failed to follow elsebeth's warning mission, you must pay the consequence of your folly.'
'please, i made a mistake but i can't stay here. you have to help me, i have to get home.'
'it's to late captain mission, you are in the land of the farie now, remember the code and you will survive.'
'yeah i get the code, its cool but i really need to return your majesty, please understand i just can't stay here.'
'you can plead all you wish but the answer is the same, you should accept it and enjoy the realm, it has much to offer, i can even give you wings.'
'what the fuck is this, i can't stay here, can't you understand. i'm not a fucking fairy. sorry, i'm just getting frustrated, i can't stay here, i have to get home.'
she stood immobile, my words falling into the space between us. 'please, i am so sorry i snorted the fairy dust, i'm really sorry, i don't know what came over me.'
'captain mission, there is no way out.'
'fucking hell,' i muttered, 'damm fairy dust, stupid witches. stupid....me.'
i had to accept it, trapped in the fucking fairy realm, i took a few moments attempting to compose myself. a few deep breaths, i stretched my limbs out, and slapped my face a few times, this has to be a trick, some kind of joke but it was sinking in now, this absurd situation.
i must have calmed down, i looked at the fairy queen, 'what's your name, is it titania?'
'mmm no actually it isn't. it's aeval, but i do like titania it has a nice ring, mmm, perhaps i will use that name now.'
'well titania, aeval whatever you are called, tell me something. does the fairy queendom have any marijuana plants?'