at the burger king meltdown primary colours warp in consumer tragedy horror. straws and napkins float down like 21st century fall out. soft drink rain. a damage control waiter runs with his neck spurting tomato ketchup, he's just some spotty kid adolescent, part time job, hacking up dead animals for drive through customers, who roll their windows up and avert their gaze.
a foot lands on a bonnet, through the smoke you can make out some carnage unimaginable, a family gaze through their windscreen, it's just like the movies.
at the burger king tragedy, reporters swarm the event, covering all angles, a photographer captures digital facsimile, the dead bodies of families halfway through their happy meals, the twisted limbs of children melted into the plastic playground, the black burnt out shapes that could be human, you can't capture the stink of burning human on canon eos.
the last mutterings of the young spotty faced boy behind the counter, as he crawls over to the wounded customer, would you like fries with that?
the customer, dressed in a cheap nylon suit with a tear across the left side from his shoulder all the way down and a face burned black from the inferno recognised the face of the kid as he crumples to the floor and lays still amongst the wreckage.
he was employee of the month.
in a cafe on main street the customers, mostly unemployed labourers watch the tv screen as the president of major city makes his speech.
as always his voice is relaxed and relaxed, his words stately and elegant.
'ladies and gentlemen, good people of the vegan action group, we hear your anguish and pain, you love animals and i, we do, all of us, my wife, my kids, we love animals to. and i'm sorry this terrible industry exists but we can't just stop it overnight, because people need jobs, people can make a choice about what they eat, and above all people love the burger king because it's a symbol of our great country. so i ask that you just take a moment and consider, just contemplate if attacking our symbols are worth the cost of lives.'
he pauses here for at least five seconds, it's a calculated interval, speech writers understand space as much as words. they also had a good idea of the turning moment within a speech, the point where the speech gets to the guts, it was coming up now.
'well the united states has a strong resolve, we will find out who you are, we will find out where you are and we will hunt you down for attacking the symbol of our great country. already i have a team of navy seals and an assemblage of the countries best data retrieval experts collating the cctv footage. so i ask you vegans, turn yourselves in at your local police station and let's do this the easy way. thank you america, goodnight.'
there was a small round of applause from the team, the president watched the light fade from the camera and took a bite of his big meaty burger, he sucked down hard on a coke fizz supersize, 'patrick, get me the fucking mustard man, you know i don't like tomato.'
patrick ran into the kitchen while the president spoke to his advisors.
'how many casualties, jeez, that's to many americans, man, oh man, what do the retrieval people say, cole, you got anything yet?'
cole emerged from his computer, an apple mac book pro, with the new retina display, 'yeah we got something but i'm gonna need more time, it's degraded from the heat but i can fix it up.'
'cole i need answers, how long?'
'an hour, maybe forty mins sir.'
'god damm it, the american public won't stand for their institutions being blown up like this. in an election year to, jesus pat, where's the mustard?'
exactly 60 minites later they watched the screen of coles computer, six of them plus the vice president huddled around the desk.
on screen you could see the interior of a burger king, the spotty adolescent staff and the young manager all hard at work, unaware of the surveillance. most of these people had lost their lives or limbs or been traumatised that they would be crippled for life no matter what rehabilitation they had.
the camera tracked from left to right and then back again, it covered most of the service counter, a man in a trench coat appeared, but there was something not quite right about him, he was wobbling around, a little out of balance.
'zoom in on his face, let's get the s o b.'
the image zoomed in and we can see some detail, it's a monkey. a chimpanzee wearing a human mask. the trench coat falls open and there under the chimp is a lamb, both animals wear what appears to be a cheap fake beard and moustache, sunglasses and concealed under the trench coat is a belt filled with what is now clearly seen as explosives.
'fuck, it's the fucking animals.'
'impossible.'
'i guess we could always say they are isreali.'
'no one will buy it, we need to just invade someone.'
'who's on the list?'
the blinding white light stops all conversation.
in the debrief the team work on pr.
'we have to tell the truth, the public can deal with it?'
'they won't, they will just invent other truth.'
'i'm not going to lie, it's not the policy of this administration.'
'it has not stopped you before.'
the president gave an angry look, jesus guys, lets get some solutions on the table.'
'blame the yids.'
'what about the koreans?'
'we can't blame anyone unless we have proof.'
'why not just tell the truth?'
'becuase the truth is so awful. imagine the implications?'
'that animals are intelligent beings that can now chose to rescue themselves and their kind, that they are our equals and we should not eat them anymore?'
the big meaty burger seemed to loose it's appeal but he took another bite.
'let's just invade somewhere?'
'france?'
'imbecile, we can't. think god damm it.'
'we could put the animals in gito?'
'yeah that's a good idea, stick them in gito and bbq it, yum, that sounds great sir.'
'alan get me putin, invite the israelis and those towel headed primates, we gonna throw a bbq, where's the goddamn mustard patrick?'
the customer, dressed in a cheap nylon suit with a tear across the left side from his shoulder all the way down and a face burned black from the inferno recognised the face of the kid as he crumples to the floor and lays still amongst the wreckage.
he was employee of the month.
in a cafe on main street the customers, mostly unemployed labourers watch the tv screen as the president of major city makes his speech.
as always his voice is relaxed and relaxed, his words stately and elegant.
'ladies and gentlemen, good people of the vegan action group, we hear your anguish and pain, you love animals and i, we do, all of us, my wife, my kids, we love animals to. and i'm sorry this terrible industry exists but we can't just stop it overnight, because people need jobs, people can make a choice about what they eat, and above all people love the burger king because it's a symbol of our great country. so i ask that you just take a moment and consider, just contemplate if attacking our symbols are worth the cost of lives.'
he pauses here for at least five seconds, it's a calculated interval, speech writers understand space as much as words. they also had a good idea of the turning moment within a speech, the point where the speech gets to the guts, it was coming up now.
'well the united states has a strong resolve, we will find out who you are, we will find out where you are and we will hunt you down for attacking the symbol of our great country. already i have a team of navy seals and an assemblage of the countries best data retrieval experts collating the cctv footage. so i ask you vegans, turn yourselves in at your local police station and let's do this the easy way. thank you america, goodnight.'
there was a small round of applause from the team, the president watched the light fade from the camera and took a bite of his big meaty burger, he sucked down hard on a coke fizz supersize, 'patrick, get me the fucking mustard man, you know i don't like tomato.'
patrick ran into the kitchen while the president spoke to his advisors.
'how many casualties, jeez, that's to many americans, man, oh man, what do the retrieval people say, cole, you got anything yet?'
cole emerged from his computer, an apple mac book pro, with the new retina display, 'yeah we got something but i'm gonna need more time, it's degraded from the heat but i can fix it up.'
'cole i need answers, how long?'
'an hour, maybe forty mins sir.'
'god damm it, the american public won't stand for their institutions being blown up like this. in an election year to, jesus pat, where's the mustard?'
exactly 60 minites later they watched the screen of coles computer, six of them plus the vice president huddled around the desk.
on screen you could see the interior of a burger king, the spotty adolescent staff and the young manager all hard at work, unaware of the surveillance. most of these people had lost their lives or limbs or been traumatised that they would be crippled for life no matter what rehabilitation they had.
the camera tracked from left to right and then back again, it covered most of the service counter, a man in a trench coat appeared, but there was something not quite right about him, he was wobbling around, a little out of balance.
'zoom in on his face, let's get the s o b.'
the image zoomed in and we can see some detail, it's a monkey. a chimpanzee wearing a human mask. the trench coat falls open and there under the chimp is a lamb, both animals wear what appears to be a cheap fake beard and moustache, sunglasses and concealed under the trench coat is a belt filled with what is now clearly seen as explosives.
'fuck, it's the fucking animals.'
'impossible.'
'i guess we could always say they are isreali.'
'no one will buy it, we need to just invade someone.'
'who's on the list?'
the blinding white light stops all conversation.
in the debrief the team work on pr.
'we have to tell the truth, the public can deal with it?'
'they won't, they will just invent other truth.'
'i'm not going to lie, it's not the policy of this administration.'
'it has not stopped you before.'
the president gave an angry look, jesus guys, lets get some solutions on the table.'
'blame the yids.'
'what about the koreans?'
'we can't blame anyone unless we have proof.'
'why not just tell the truth?'
'becuase the truth is so awful. imagine the implications?'
'that animals are intelligent beings that can now chose to rescue themselves and their kind, that they are our equals and we should not eat them anymore?'
the big meaty burger seemed to loose it's appeal but he took another bite.
'let's just invade somewhere?'
'france?'
'imbecile, we can't. think god damm it.'
'we could put the animals in gito?'
'yeah that's a good idea, stick them in gito and bbq it, yum, that sounds great sir.'
'alan get me putin, invite the israelis and those towel headed primates, we gonna throw a bbq, where's the goddamn mustard patrick?'
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