Thursday, January 26, 2012

i have made a space, a large clear area, it exists between realms, a place where all is still, all is quiet, it's harmony, tranquillity, it's sanctuary and everything that falls between us will sit there. the days have passed away like empty vessels of nothing. you can put what ever you wish in this space, its the un- carved block, it is the void behind which another place exists and the void moon hovers somewhere behind void sky, in a void town, void boy meets void girl, void love fills void hearts and we drift in a void like universe under it's gaze looking for the anti void until we find it.


it's one brain, one mind, a central nervous system, it's vaster than anything, it is anything and everything, it is everywhere, it's the huge great big universe of intelligence attempting to discover itself, through all life, through us. are we suffering in pain, all of us, and eventually we begin to loose our hate, our anger, frustrations, resentments, judgements, attachments and our desires, we begin to gain appreciation, some sort of humility, some sort of...love within our humanity. it's tested, tested hard, for what good is anything unless it's tested and we curse and fume, we react and respond, sometimes falling back to the lowest common denominator. we are fallen down only to rise, and find love. this is the way all men must travel, it is the path of the soul, to meet himself and find only god.


i don't know about australia day, what does it mean, i see people waving flags, eating animals, displaying pride, honking horns in big metal death machines. i see the beach filled with people playing games in an ocean, although it looks pretty washed out today in the downpour. i see a publics holiday. 
in the past white people came from england and killed the natives, later they bombed them to hell in a-bomb experiments, then they gathered them up and killed them, or broke up their families. the survivors all were forced into the centre and away from the coastal areas, the european man came, and stayed. it is the way of empire. rise and fall, but the native folk will remain for they understand the land and the skies, i guess once civilisation reaches a dead end. 


i skype brighton, my friends tez ad jean, how i miss them, such lovely loving people. i miss them so much. i am assaulted by people, territorialitists, greedy landlords and ever encroaching boundaries. maybe i have to move soon, it feels like this, mission control under siege from downstairs middle class buddhists, champagne socialists, megalomaniac capitalists, all the same thing, the most selfish of all the people, hungry for more land and money, immune to anything else but the unconscious need that drives them, the accumulation of more. i collect this information and place it in the void space along with all the other nonsense that clutters up my head. 
i feel like i have lost my compassion, tez says i am angry and i think he's correct, i have never been good with anger, anger according to my book on emotions which i wrote about earlier is all about boundaries, i need to set boundaries and perhaps the only way i can do this is to buy a home. apparently now is a good time to buy a home, i'll investigate how this is done, i know you need a bank or lending authority to loan you the cash, ha, there's no way around that trap. i can't afford sydney, it's gone mental, there's nowhere to rent anyway, there's no way i could afford even a unit here. 
  

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