Saturday, May 14, 2011

i was walking through some crowded place, with my friend the invisible girl and her girlfriend the impossible girl, we were in a mad rush to get some breakfast, we had been out all night filling ourselves with debauchery and vice, i was exhausted these girls were very demanding but they seemed happy at the moment and i was hoping to read the papers over a spice tea while they needed eggs and coffee. we found a small place on a street corner, i grabbed the only free table, in the corner, everyone stared at me, i could feel eyes like needles burning my aura, reading their thoughts, 'how come that freak is with those two beautiful women?' yeah the air was heavy with jealous vibes, but i only know this because i would have felt the same way if i was in their positions, stuck in their vanilla relationships, bored outta their skulls with their partners who hate them. the girls were being very affectionate towards me, i was being loved in a very public way, man that's all a man can really ask for, the demonstrative love of not just one but two very lovely women. i sipped my tea while flicking through the papers, reading the speech tony abbot made, flicking through the australian, the only paper that bothered to print it, i was actually quite impressed on one level. i'm probably the most unfashionable person in sydney, my trends don't follow the herd.
the girls kept interrupting me by licking the side of my face, or one anothers, it was distracting me from the newspaper but it was also quite endearing. it had been a while since i had received this kind of attention.
i could feel a weariness overwhelm me and went outside for a smoke, the girls wanted to come as well but their eggs arrived and i let them eat. i had half a spliff left so i slipped across the road and smoked it discretely in a bus shelter. when i returned the impossible girl was rubbing her stomach, 'i need to lie down, lets go back to yours.'
i nodded, 'sure, i could use a little rest myself. what about you invisible girl?'
'a splendid idea but let me finish my coffee.'
i stuck my head back in the paper and let the girls finish their breakfast. a few people came to say hello, people who would usually ignore me, but i could tell they wanted introductions to the girls, which i did but only because i am a gentleman. the girls can look after themselves, they are both highly intelligent and know how to extricate themselves from the attentions of men.
i put my sunglasses on, the morning sun is intensely bright. people peer towards me to read my badge, 'oh, so your a feminist, isn't that cute.' it says. it's ironic but they are to stupid to understand irony and they walk away puzzled. impossible girl starts feeding me her leftovers, 'you need the protein mission.'
i'm not hungry at all but i'm to tired to argue, my mouth opens on automatic pilot, the eggs slide down easy. 'well,' i say , i think i'm feeling sated.'
'oh but we aren't,' invisible whispers. her words carry a little saucy weight, the kind i normally flirt with but i'm jaded after a late night, i could fall asleep in nice soft warmth but the demands for anything else would just leave me empty and depleted.
i pay the bill and we wander out into the street, heading back to my place. the dog is happy to see us, the girls frolic around him, while i let them in. we crash on the sofas, invisible girl skins up, and impossible girl finds a suitable cd to play, fleet foxes, soft mellow sunday morning music, for dreamers.
when i open my eye's the girls have gone into the bedroom, i check on them, they are curled up asleep in one anthers arms, looking cute. they sleep in the main bedroom, the room i have not slept in for a while, they look content and i don't want to wake them, despite my weariness i take the dog for a walk.
it's still bright out there but with my glasses i'm safe, there's a razor chill in the air, winter attacked early, even the trees look frozen animated only by birds, the cockatoo, the lorikeet.
later i sit in the lounge thinking about the life i'm leading, why suddenly i've entered a political realm, a realm i normally avoid and distance myself from. why am i so frightened or terrorists right now, and i can only conclude i fear for my son jakob, the world he is growing into. is this a normal thing for a father to fear? i don't know, i'd have to ask my dad i guess?
i fear that in a world filled with fear i am just adding to it, conspiracy theories have their place but mostly they are all created by fear mongers and cynics, and i have been surrounded by them and slowly become one, i don't like this part of me, i never used to react but it's so hard not to. the information is everywhere, people join the dots and look for a pattern, it's apophenion or pareidolia, take your pick, the ultimate truth is beyond us if we subscribe to conspiracy, yet i can't help it, it only takes one madman with some sort of weird rage to damage innocents, and this is the political world upon which we are inhabiting, because of our own personal relationships with our governments one cannot ignore them.
detachment is not an option here, one has to stand by ones convictions be them political meme, or religious, because some meme's are better than others and in the meme wars we don't want the most violent aggressive or anti diversity ones dominating the others. also intelligent memes have been hijacked by the dumb ones so there is no way to determine the intent without investigation of the hosts.
life is diversity, i'm a pretty diverse guy, i'm still alive and mutable, ever changing, always following something greater than myself, adrift and captain of my own vessel, you may not agree, you may not like, you may think what you will but none the less, my star is still bright and i'm only just beginning.

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