Wednesday, October 27, 2010

panther like, you wander around that suburb, the one that you once lived in, terrible emotions rise, a tangled web of memories, where they really yours you wonder. that's the trouble, you can't trust anything these days, even yourself. except you have that instinct and the gifted intuitive insight that drives you.
there's a few clouds in the skies, obscuring the stars, last night you caught a glimpse of a yellow moon, hanging up there, jaundice eye and fixated stare, flickering in black soup. but tonight there's just a great dark sky oppressing the city, all light finding penetration challenging.
walk down the main street past the shop where you pick up scattered recollections of a fight you had, she screaming at you in front of a whole bunch of people, causing a scene, creating some drama over some thing you said or did. you can't recall the details just the energy, terrible and furious. it doesn't make sense, like some interference buzzing in your head, what were those memories, what ever they were they hurt and they are ugly, maybe they aren't yours, maybe you just picked up random memories that have been scattered and left hanging like lost energy fields. you shake your head, puzzled and confused, the whole town seems to be drowning in these energy fields. you step up your pace, wrap your scarf around you and head towards the car.
as you turn around a corner past the drive through bottle shop you get another sensation of dread, you can feel the heavy weight of a violent war of words, she's shouting and swearing but the words are like daggers, they cut and slice you, they are weapons and you have no defence, you remember trying to defend yourself with gentle words, kindness and empathy but she's lost all sense of reason now and the anger spills over into a sinister zone.
jesus the severity of this pocket hangs heavy, it's like a molasses you walked into, but you don't own it, it's some one else's, your just picking it up, like an echo.
you start to run, this town has to many ghosts, a heavy rain begins, your running fast fumbling for keys, up ahead you see your car, you're closing in when the big one hits you.
shes angry, thinks you had some sort of affair, thinks you said something to some one, you're confused, scared, you never seen her so angry and fierce, you can see her screaming at you but the words are irrational, they just come out in a deep red hate, like a brick wall closing you in, you're finding it difficult to breath, tears falling down your face. you stumble around trying to get your keys out, but your inhabiting two different times simultaneously, you don't know how to survive this but you manage to open the door, around you her screaming and hysterics are reaching a new plateau, insanity, abuse, you want to get away, you will say anything, do anything, just make it stop. you slam the door and suddenly you feel her blows, her scratches on your face. there's no escape from some memories, even if they may not be your own.

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