i remember my experience with the cocaine girls, sucking up the stuff in nocturnal worlds. we could not stand the light, we had to wear shades, modern vampyres baby with a beautiful face, we could not stand the day with it's harsh fall out, razor blade kisses and the whites of their eyes, all narrow pins, the holes in their hearts where loves leaking.
i wandered around, a little shell shocked, so many nights of passion but my world was not rocked, as the empty shell gods, with their fragmented curses, and the loveless trashed beautiful ones, robbed of their own vitality stole in envy, corrupted in spite, and their demonic little energy snapped my spine, broke my back, if your looks could kill, i'd explode in your mind, in a tiny little war, no body wins.
we crashed in, we crashed out, suddenly became a train wreck while i slipped off the rails, you and your madness and me and mine, all held together by little white lines, little white lies, little white pockets of chaos and discord like seeds sown in a wind storm, to the random gods, random white noise, white stains, white light white heat, white trash, white meat, white in, white out.

several years later i'm washed up, watching tv in a motel, smoking endless packets of native american cigarettes with a stripper i met on the road, she's filing her nails while we watch the cable channel info commercials, looking for a new product, some new convenience, that little bitch starts yelling at me about some thing i did last week, 'shut up' i yell but it's no use, it's no fucking use at all, i'm stuck in this byproduct of hedonistic bullshit future, with some one i hate, a dumb middle american nymphomaniac and me, watching tv and yelling abuse at one another, with sex intervals and the occasional night out down the roadhouse.
to much cocaine, to many late nights, my memory got fucked up, i thought i was some mystic type, an artistic guy with appetite for the strange stuff. i dreamed i had another life, with a gentle woman, some happy kids running around in a nice garden, i'd spend my days reading books and my nights looking at the stars with my beautiful wife.

but here i am in a different circumstance, being yelled at. drinking beer and smoking.sometimes the yelling gets to much, i slap her face, just to keep her quiet, it never does, she just gets mad, screams loader, throws a few things, trashes the caravan, what ya gonna do?
one hot summer night i walked out to take a piss, there was a snake slithering across the sand, i fired off a couple of shots but i missed, to much drink, i woke the bitch up though and she started yelling, i waved the gun at her, she just yelled more, i threw it down on the ground and wandered away. when i relived myself i looked up at the stars, millions of them, up there in the big sky. and then i remembered who i am.