Sunday, August 29, 2010

miss cupcake sit's on her balcony dealing with her clusterfuck, i'm driving over to visit her a million different things racing through my mind, but all pointing in the same direction, what is going on here, the past returns, the cards are dealt a second hand, how do they fall, i see the patterns, i hold all the hearts, ace, king, queen and jack, while you hold yours close to your chest. once upon a time you would bluff, take the winnings and run but now you are honest.
i see you have been hurt by the morning, somewhere inside you feel it, i know, but you nailed the game, you got it, saw his bluff and called it. i respect that so much, i can't tell you how much i respect you.
then we sit up there in your tower, and words pass between us, you attempt to challenge me but i challenge you. i see it in your eyes, you know i am close to the truth on this matter. your mature enough to understand this now, you are beginning to see me differently, through the prism of my personality, you get closer to me everyday but i know you. i know your defence mechanisms and the cage around your heart is ever present and i will penetrate it but in my time and my way, i am no longer influenced by any other person, no longer subjected to opinion trend and fashion, i am a free agent but i am your captain. that is true whatever happens.
we say goodbye, i stand before you almost naked in a sense, almost raw, exposed and capable of anything, we wave goodbye and as i drive home, i wonder if we shared a moment there, in that wave. was that a moment?
i visit hp who listens to my music, she is filled with nice words and loves it. she says, this is it, i watch her face as she listens on the cans, her smile expands as the track goes into it's 'whoosh.'
she is stunned, 'brilliant.' she says, 'i want to play it in circle,'
exactly what i wanted, exactly the response i needed to hear, just for this song.
i decide that i will ask pete to play on the closing parts, with his quantum instrument.
i head homewards, it's a big bold day, sun shine everywhere but i'm feeling bigger than the day right now, i need a week i can relax into, a week with you, just me and you sitting there drinking coconut drinks and contemplating our navels and i need to share that moment with you again. if it was a moment.

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