Tuesday, August 24, 2010

gabrielle
with your amazing green eyes, leather outfits, scarves and west berlin camouflage, we were fucking supernovas, burning out our oxygen in that nocturnal city, man we burnt a hole in the universe, we were perfection, you with your cute junky aura, me with that far away look and dealer persona, the one i didn't want but it kept opening doors and taking us places.
words would pass between us and disappear, we speak a different language, body heat kept us alive through that terrible winter, your skin was always cold whereas i radiated heat, we couldn't get close enough, my dark skin melted into your pale, the house defrosted, the cat curled up around us purring, dogs would thaw, people would toast their hands around our naked flesh, we created energy everywhere. we would dance through the night time, iggy pop, bowie and prince stick out from that period, the jungle night club, on that big street the kurfustadamm. i loved your moves, the way you floated through space and always towards me. it was like watching a heat seeking love missile. explode into me.
every morning you would be flying of in a cute air hostesses outfit, dan air girls were always the ones for me, dan air girls rocked my world, i was in the mile high club all the time with you and your people. i met them everywhere when i was younger and somehopw i was always part of that scene. i had the golden key.
but sooner or later all that incomprehensible madness started to eat away at some weird thing inside, it just became clique, it was a destruction i wanted to avoid, i was hooking into you, mainlining through you in osmosis absorption, i sunk into the narcotic haze in berlins opium doors, strange corridors that led to cushioned bliss and that exotic escape from it all, the beautiful dreamscape we created, i'd make love to you in dreams while in our waking life we fucked each other raw, down to every single nerve ending and impulsive desire for sensation, everything exposed, i would have died in your arms if i had not pulled myself away. cold turkey, my will was amazing, it always has been resilient but it hurts, i carry that around, it hurts like hell.
love didn't come in to it, you were in love with your opiates although i believe you loved me somewhere within that need, but it would have been messy, i saw it down the timeline, i saved myself becuase i could see something coming into being, my future calling me, i had a son to birth and there were other things calling me forwards, destiny, some voice calling me towards life.
you were not so fortunate beautiful woman, you flew straight into the sun and disintegrated in one explosive mass, love missile.

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