Friday, June 29, 2007

Zoloft sunrise

Hey
I came undone
Didn’t mean to
hey
You know me i’m the one
Who pulls through
Fate
Has other plans
And faith
waits for her man
Now please
You hurt me deep and wide
As I get swept up by your tide
I came washed up on your shore
And wow
Some how
I survived
These days
crushed my strength
Hurt my pride
Maybe I need a
Zoloft sunrise
To brighten up my life
A Zoloft sunrise
To cast some extra light
To make me smile again



Hey
I apologise
Didn’t mean to make you sad
Hey
You’re my special one
when all is said and done
chance he believes in all she is
and chances are she’s his
and please
these nights are long and strange
a time to rearrange
almost everything
and wow
some how
I survived
These days
crushed my strength
Hurt my pride
Maybe I need a
Zoloft sunrise
To brighten up my life
A Zoloft sunrise
To cast some extra light
To make me smile again

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

time out time passes fades and melts days and nights blend into some kind of weird backdrop, my head sometimes aches and sometimes seems clear, my heart sometimes heavy and sometimes light, all is still now.
i read the power of now, it took me quite some time and effort, but i know its a book that speaks volumes to me, and if now is not a good time to read it then i don't know when is. actually reminding myself is healing, i feel like i am sending out a lifeline to myself, something to hold on to, something true.
agent stone has proven once again to be an amazing friend, something i can never forget or diminish.
my anti deppressants are stabalizing me, i can feel them surge through my blood and brain, seritonin levels kicking over a bit higher, these drug companies know how to get ya reeled in, i hate the fact i am on them, its depressing, but right now i'm looking for all the support i can get lest i fall into an abyss.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

brain scans indicate slight bleeding, no hemorrage, therefore i'm looking forwards to full recovery within two years, however very deppressed, unable to focus, concentrate on anything, somewhat lost.
meredith seems to think it will be 6 months before i see her again, therefore i have to start organizing my own life for the next 6 months. i was thinking maybe of taking some time out and going AWOL but being a semi responsible citizen, i can't. so the next few days i need to really think about what i want to do for 6 months. being in a holding pattern like this is soul destroying, it's not really the relationship i had in mind but meredith is worth it so i guess i have no choice.