Thursday, May 31, 2007

after a brilliant morning in the surf catching the most magnificent waves with my dolphin friend i emerged feeling amazing, for the first time in a long time i felt myself, ordered some flowers for meredith then went to work where it all went slightly nuts. firstly the dude i was working with had left the place a mess, and then from the very start things went wrong as he abandoned me with 5 very difficult clients all deciding to act out at the same time, i was dealing with high level noise plus aggression various screaming and threatening behaviours. under normal circumstances this would never get to this point, i have never seen the clients acting like this en masse before and it was quite disturbing, at one point i ran to where the screaming was coming from and found one of them had been left in a huge bath, with the taps on and she was drowning, the look of horror on her face was shocking, i lunged in and pulled the plug. then i froze, the stress hit my head fast, just like a bullet, i was immobilized when the phone rang, it was meredith, we had a conversation i can't recall then i found myself beginning to swoon, a pounding in my head, a throbbing like helicopter stalling. i knew i had to get out.
i left work and arrived home, sat in darkness alone while i felt a numbness envelope me, my head still pounding, unable to move i was frozen with fear.
the next morning i spoke to my shrink who said i was experienceing 'competing attention syndrome' which is very common in head injuries. anyway i spoke at length about my feelings, fears and needs. she suggested i consult my dr. re the head ache as it could be serious, i did and underwent a ct scan that afternoon, results in two days.

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