Tuesday, January 31, 2006

More banter at the cafe this morning as Leary and I discuss the newspaper and the female of the species, interrupted by Yin who wants in on the conversation, disgusted at our verdict on the state of Autsralian women. Yin I say the women of Australia are like men, they are more competitive and just want to out drink, out fuck and out live the male. It's a totally extreme denial of femininity and what makes a woman attractive to me. But Yin ponders and then says she feels Australian men don't know how to treat women, it's like they are all babies she says. I don't know any Australian men really apart from Dr. Leary and he's just a freak like me.
Conversation moves into Chinese New Year and Yin is impressed with the Dr travels and knowledge of all things Chinese.
Eventually we discuss food and good restaurants in China Town. Unfortunately i don't know any restaurants except for these:

Govindas - Hare Krishna food and a good movie afterwards, in the heart of Kings Cross
Common Ground - weird cult of middle earth peoples in Rozelle who make yummy food the traditional way
Kopitain Cafe - Malaysia in Harris Street where i get an authentic fish head curry for under $10

Yes that's it culture vultures, my contribution, no Chinese restaurants anywhere near my list.
Anyway then we start chatting about Chinese Zodiacs, Leary and I both being Tigers while Yin is a Monkey, Yin seems curious to do our charts based on Western horoscopes, and although i have a certain reluctance, i confess all the details, there's no way a bunch of rocks in space influence my destiny.
A short drive into DY to pick up some Basil Seed drink and Young Coconut Juice, then get my head shaved by the wonderful little head shaving girl, then some down time in my hammock contemplating my navel.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Up early, climb into dawns cracks, so to speak, take Pan for a walk and a run, we have a bit of a play out the front, while i assess my morning. Once Pan is fed and watered and content i head down to meet Leary and another person, we discuss belief and then someone starts talking about if the US actually destroyed the towers themselves, yeah yeah yeah, its conspiracy after conspiracy. I have no opinion on the matter all i know is the surf is feeling good and I need to get in it.
I'm right the surf was the best ever, it was perfect. I am in bliss.
Heal into Babylon to get supplies, it's filled with the beautiful people, the rich the famous, the butcher the baker the freakin bomb makers and every one is suddenly an expert on politics, its all a big conspiracy, yet unbeknown to them the biggest conspiracy is there is no conspiracy, i mean the govts of the planet are fucked, they don't even bother to conspire anymore, i'm feeling smothered, suffercating, have to get back into the water, Babylon makes me charkras go all outta whack.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Worked at Autistic Central all weekend and now I am back at Mission Control to late for a surf but looking forwards to the morning, after a good sleep i'll catch me some waves.
Enjoying reading 'A New Mind' by Daniel Pink, he seems to be anticipating a new kind of brain to cope with the changes in the economic world, fortunately he describes mine.
He sees the move as utilizing, these components,


Any corporation want to sign me up, I'm here waiting...

In the meantime, let me just talk about initiation.
The way I see it there are two types of initiation, the first is Tribal, this involves some form of rite of passage that involves the family, or members of the community, it could be like minded followers of a religious belief or a bunch of car dealers but the common factor is the initiation involves other people.
The other type is Mystical / Magickal. This tends to involve only the individual and the personal process the universe directs them into. Yes there is a high probability that one could see this as some form of psychosis and it often appears like this, in magickal terms it's known as the Chapel Perilous, many go in, few return sane.
There is a process to this journey, its common hero's journey, found in myth, but it is on an emotional, spiritual and physical level shattering.
It is very important that the ego is destroyed, consequently a period of madness follows, it's important and well mapped in some magical circles that one starts to read the secret significance in all events, one reads and therefore communes with the universe. However this is such a precise skill that only a few succeed, the biggest problem is most people do not know where to attach significance and where it should be applied. Another important consideration is when to stop, usually anything over 12 months and yr a lost cause. Some people use the analogy of walking into the desert, there are some good milestones in this process, meditation, fasting, disipline, surrender, death, liberation, responsibility. These should be part of the process, each part confirmed by the universe in it's own language. They are metaphorical but powerful enough to change your life completely. The relationship can send you to your doom or it can bless you with a more intergrated approach to life. This is where the mystical initiation ends.
If like me, you decide that the Universe has other things in store then the process continues. However it is directly proportional to the level of danger and mental phycosis one can experience. The Path to Magickian is not one to take lightly and a true Magickian is not even given a choice.

Friday, January 27, 2006

When dealing with Govt departments there is only one thing that you can do to subvert them. Use Humour. I have been doing this for several years now and they don't quite no what to do with me, in fact they leave me alone.
eg. I once answered the telephone rather abruptly while at work only to be told a few weeks later they wanted me to do a course on telephone skills, i mean really. Anyways I did the course only now when i answer the phone i always say, 'Midnite Blues Escort Service.'
Same in life generally. I figured god has been laughing at me for years now it's time to laugh back. I like laughing in the face of tragedy, adversity and the horror of human existance, often people look at me and make comments with the words, 'Innappropriate' in it but ya know what, i am not laughing becuase i think it's funny, no people, i laugh becuase i don't want anything to defeat me.

I saw Munich, expected it would disappoint, i mean i am well versed on the history of the Mid East, the conflicts and the issues but i heard it was very balanced and somewhat anti Israel with terrorists justifing their actions but at the end of the day, it was a pretty brilliant film, gritty, well directed, acted and scripted. Yeah equal time was given to both sides to air their points but i don't know how else he could have made it. Anyway, i enjoyed watching it, it reminded me that at the end of the day it comes down to two tribes fighting over a bit of desert, home. Then today i see Hamas won the elections. Go figure?
It's amazing that violence via terrorism will get you what you want, kind of gives hope to all pyscho cults and fringe groups out there really. Perhaps democracy is finished, Proffessor Leary thinks so and after today i think he's right. Voteds are wasted on the dumb zombies of the world, we need some filter system, any one that took LSD last month can vote.

I took a trip into the city, (sydney your all gloss and glamour on the surface, all sugar coated, candy floss, shiney and golden but underneath your an ugly, festering, shallow, currupt and materialistic spiritually bankrupt city on the verge of suicide. I see it in your eyes.)
Yeah wandered down Newtown and Glebe explaining to the Proffessor about the new movement in society towards the Right Brain, creative, expansive, conceptual thoughts, I was saying, 'Man we need to get in on this big time.'
Maybe we should become dmt dealers, suppliers.
I bought some Puruvian Powder, (not that stuff) to put in my tea.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

It's fucking australia daze and the beach is filled with idiots eating dead animals and listening to politicians and local counsellors give long winded boring self congratulating speeches, the brainwashed public would soak up all this nonsence and feel good about it whereas i just wanna negotiate the crowds and get wet, catch waves and be in this glorious moment.
Last night I finished supernatural, conclusions are we have written into our dna some alien technology accessed only by dmt. The Hebrew University seems convinced that this is the case.
Hancock went of to stonehenge to take some mushrooms, great end to a scientific book.
Me I am home this morning, waiting for crowds to disperese then of for a surf, a sleep and some reading.

So I am travelling with my dad, in spain, we are working on an apartment they had, it's kind of intresting as it's the first time i travelled with my dad alone as an adolecent, i didn't really spend much time with him but it was nice, i remember it vividly as being pleasant. One night I had a dream, it was about my grandfather, i took it as just a dream but it was an initiation.
That dream was the first in a sequence of dreams that seemed to have some sort of elusive meaning, at the back of my mind I knew what it was, in the depths of my subconcious I pushed them, like tiny time bombs, depth charges waiting to detonate. I managed to ignore them for years and found myself in a life I never ever expected, I was married, living in a house, with a child, happy, then in the blink of an eye i lost everything, found myself in the strange place I called extra visionary blue, it's a place where lost notes go, sad songs and tragic lovers huant, it's similar to this reality only it lays in a pool of thoughts to deep for tears. I stayed there, made a home there and explored the dimensions of this landscape, here i was nearly killed. Murdered actually, i was so far gone that my assailent freaked out, he released his grip from around my throat and fell away from me, my calmness, my total placidness and acceptence had scared him, i was happy to leave this place. Anyway's that was a slight turning point and i came back into the world, your world, i came back knowing that there was a meaning in the madness, there had to be, it had been there all my life, waiting, i just needed to find it, but the strangest thing was it found me.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

While driving to work i heard on the radio that an English protest group has stopped the development of a building as it will upset the fairies, the builders agreed to redesign the project. That was followed by a flying saucer story. RAW - eat yr heart out.
Supernatural book taking up a lot of my time, moving into amazing realms where Hancock actually takes the DMT himself and describes exactly the experience I have in other posts. He goes on to link the shamanic experience as venturing into the dmt realm and receiving information from the entities, this is verified by Crick (of dna fame) who confessed he used LSD to uncover the secrets of DNA. Another molecular scientist said that when she was under the influence of DMT she saw a chromosome from the perspective of a protein flying above the long DNA strand. She claimed to have received teaching specifically in her vision concerning the unknown function of the DNA sequence called 'CpG islands.' These are found upstream of about 60% of all human genes. The Shaman say they learn from their experiences, the entities teach them, they get information from the plants.
Hancock cites McKenna's research and Panspermic theory, goes a great deal into Crick's eccentric reasearch into the soul of man then looks at the connection between Junk DNA as a language implanted in us. Yes a Language that is accessed by Shamen and more recently by science. The odds of DNA forming this pattern is the equivelent of a Jumbo Jet being made from a Junkyard, which gives a nod to the intelligent design theory, however something tells me its far from Christian. Although there are plenty references that the Church has hijaked, eg Lourdes was built upon a fairy grotto where there were several documented sightings of the supernatural, it was used as a place of healing long before the church were involved, Jesus underwent some sort of shamanic initiation, his whole story is based upon the process but the real insights are from the old testament, strewn with descriptions of the world through the dmt portal. See Ezikeil and the books of Enoch.

Meanwhile back at Mission Control I am settling in for a bowl of brown rice and fish and a dvd called 'The Jacket.'
The movie turned out to be an intresting idea, reminded me of 12 Monkeys, funny how time travel and mental illness work together. Intresting discussion with Leary about the idea that a machine cannot travel in time becuase it needs time to operate it, unless it's quantum in nature. Personally i think travelling in time is nothing to do with machines, it's about the mind. I have never worn a watch, never lived in a structure of time, it cannot contain me, i refuse to let it constrain me. The first steps in becoming a mystic is to accept time and space are the same thing and our measurement of time is a construct. Time is natures way of stopping everything happening at once, a dose of belladonna will show you how it works, however do your research, it's not a substance to take lightly.
RAW describes it as the strangest drug experience he has ever known.

I started this Blog as a means of keeping my thoughts in one place and as an area to show my work, but i also want to explain in a sort of loose process, the path of Magickian. It's a tall order to call oneself a Magickian and i don't do it lightly, but it is the only word that applies to my Will and My Destiny. However i do not want to offer a similar type of treatese as my peers, a handbook or a idiots guide, I don't want to aline myself to the millions of Wiccans and Pagans out there, we do not really share anything in common, burn your Bucland books, he stole every idea hewrote from Crowley on his Hastings Death Bed.
i just want to follow my own tangents and ebb and flow, leaving a trail of information, some patterns for people to follow. And I wonder who i write this for, possibly myself but i think if i where honest i would have to say, i write this for my son Jakob. One day when I am dead he will wonder about his dad, he can have this, and wonder on.

There are three truths Jakob.

There is your truth
Their Truth
And then there is The Truth.

and no one ever knows the Truth.
So here is My Truth. In black and white, in pixils and pixies, i danced with the fairies Jake, i wandered the globe, had my mind opened so wide i discovered the universe inside me, I took drugs and had sex and ate the sacred lotus and i cried and I laughed and I broke and I healed myself and found my power, the truth, this world is nothing but an illusion, yet is reflects you soul. Enjoy it. If you take the Magickians path it's a commitment, there's no turning back, there's no escape, no easy soft options, you gotta face the inevitable, laugh at Deaths doorways, ring his bells, get the old fucker outta bed and chasing you down the street, you have take the pill, jump down the rabbit hole, get on board, ride the roller coaster into the night, yeah not many want to take that kind of responsibility. As a kid I was always looking at the stars, i was nuts about sci fi, i read everything, i was wanting to be abducted, i was wanting to escape, get away from school, from my home, from my town, i was desperate to find something out there, in the universe. that could give me a reason for living in the madness i saw around me. Yet there was incredible beauty, once the moon rose over my street, it was so huge, i felt like i could walk out onto its craters, it filled up the whole sky. I was luckey, i travelled at a young age, i saw NYC, climbed up those towers and felt like King of the World, i saw spanish sunsets and italian sunrises, yeah i saw the beauty man, it turned me on.
But I had a learning disability, i had dixlexia, I was born left handed and forced to use my right, my wires were crossed, the teachers humiliated me, my peers were thugs, east end villans and scoundrels, school was a war zone, i was luckey i made it out alive, the hate, you could taste it. I went off to learn Photography, then one day i found myself hitching on the New Jersy Turnpike.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Yes up bright and early for the surf, excellent conditions to apply Gratitude and Love, which come's easy on days like these. I have to say I was radiating. And almost immediatly a wave formed before me, absolute purrfection. I caught it all the way in. That did not repeat, even after 2 hours but i still remain sympathetic to the concept.
I fixed up the cameras moter drive, ready for some action, its a complicated beast and requires a degree in technology to operate, i came a long way since my pin hole camera. Picked up some film from a few years back of Pan, then put a film in from a few weeks ago, a shamanic session with the great mushroom gods, intresting shots, very different from the other series, far more darker, other worldly.
Supernatural took a strange turn, he is now linking UFOS and faries, but after reading its not so strange, in fact the similarities are quite amazing.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Interestingly I read today about the experiments of a certain Japanese scientist called Dr. Emoto who featured in 'What the Beep?' Anyways he is now suggesting that we do influence water by intent, which is why it can be healing. He also thinks the most powerful type of intention is gratitude and love and that these are embodied in the H2O formula, 2 parts gratitude and 1 part love is the most powerful intent one can transmit to water. Therefore if i apply this to my surfing, which in many ways i do but this time consciously there may be better waves and therefore better quantum experience.
So todays a hot sunday, surf conditions crap due to masses of people in it, which is a paradoxical response to the above, so i may skip the experiment today.
I need to sit in my hammock and finish Supernatural, it's getting very bizzare yet i wholeheartedly understand and know why the second half took the tangent it did. Parrallel to my own post's about DMT aliens or elves Hancock has reached the same conclusion, the brain has to make sense of what it sees in a historical cultural frame work, hence the alien abductions of these last 40 years, apparently one in ten americans clain to have been abducted, yeah i know i thougt the same thing, americans!
But apparently research shows that this has happened overseas to, and the similarities between dmt experiences by shamans is exactly the same as abduction stories in every way.
I guess it means that we can access these other dimensions, realms and worlds but we need maps and assistance to do this, the shaman has resources given to him by inhabitants from these realms, they undergo woundings, similar to those in cave paintings, often their bodies showered in light, they float upwards, feel are ripped apart, crystals, or stones inserted. See the abduction stories from recent times the same. Hancock even goes on to supply accounts from both perceptions and they are remarkably similar. Only difference is one is from a technological point of veiw.
Amazing stuff.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Surfs up, it's big and wild and messy and although i caught a few waves it was a reflection of my messy tired and jaded mind. I was actually at a loss at what to do with myself today, i mean i am a recluse, it's not as though i am even in the game. so consequently i did put up my hammock and swung around all day reading, listening to an amazing compilation i was sent by a fellow womber, it's called insurgancy mix and it's thematically follows the rise and fall of america, some great tunes, the only one i felt slighty iffy about was an old ultravox post John Foxx, but 4 cds of giant songs.
So yeah so i am wondering what i should do about getting a girlfriend when i think how about some internet dating, it's gotta be good, so i write some nonsence up lets see what happens, although i do recal me saying earlier that it's pheremones that makes the whole attraction thing work for me, i love the scent of a woman, i can be with the most stunning girl but if she don't smell right, it's no go.
And you know what, while we are on the subject of girls, i have a few ex's that i would like to say, fuck you to, cos you were selfish and nasty and never once had my intrests at heart, yeah you know who you are but if you don't,
Debbie- Amalia - ALH - Roxy - Sarah C
Well i am to tired to expend any energies on those other than name them.

Friday, January 20, 2006

DMT- alien or elves?
Well the answer to that is yes, both. The question that needs to be asked is what type of brain do you have, a prehistoric age may see these as part animal, human, one from a pre industrial age may perceive the entities as monsters, angels, demons, pixies, fairies and elves. Yet a post technological brain would manifest the entities as aliens, machines, beings from other dimensions.
i have broken the experience down into three stages, these i since found to be verified by anthropologists and others who have undergone the experience.
However before I comment on the stages i think it is worth while to say that set and setting remain a very important element while involved in the experience and the closer you get to natural environment the better the journey. I have tried with all sorts of music playing in the background, it's advisable to keep it, low, repetitive, subliminal, tribal, somewhat shamanic but nothing to heavy.
Be comfortable, cushions ect, avoid bright lights and have some one else with you. I recommend maintaining a dialogue but not strain for one. Do not eat anything four hours before, drink only water.
Okay so small pipe, load up, don't forget you need a dmt substance plus inhibitor, suck hard, till pipe empty and pass it to your friend to pack again. Within seconds you will hit ENTRY LEVEL - you feel good, you smile, feel it coming on, flashes of landscapes, amazonian vistas, suddenly your eye's close and a warmth floods your body. The images now start taking on fractal patterns, masses of information moving past, in an ocean of purples, blues and blacks, beautiful colours and shapes, crythanthium flower like shapes, intricate architecture you can almost see the inspiration for islamic art, you can see so many artistic representations of this experience. Gradually everything fades back to normal. Have the second pipe- information appears faster and you move through the 1st level very quick, suddenly everything starts getting freaky. FREAK OUT LEVEL
Terrence McKenna said if this doesn't freak you out you are not having the experience. I have to say it was fucking freaky and I was scared. I felt as if I had been abducted by something, it was intelligent, i caught glimpses of eyes, i was propelled into some sort of vortex, there was absolutely no frame of references, no analogues, no language. I overcame my fear by focusing on breathing and then felt that the Fear had passed, but by this time the dmt was wearing off.
Take the Third and final pipe of this session. This is where you get to meet and dialogue with the intelligence. I call this the FAR OUT LEVEL
I won't talk about my experience yet but it will be the most profound experience you will ever have. Life will change, consensus reality will appear like a ridiculous construct.
More later.

This morning I awoke to the sound of workmen fixing up my balcony with machines and tools I can't actually name but they made loud noises and Pan and I had to leave because they were going to be working at Mission Control all day. So we went over to Mikes and then drove to The Common Ground cafe in Balmain, for Pesto, brushed and a Mango Smoothie. Possibly my fave food place in sydney, run by the hobbits the food is all from their farms in the shire, its fresh and healthy and tasty.
Then home to the mess the builders had left, i didn't clean up as they are back tomorrow. I wandered down to the beach, bluebottles washed up, looks uninvited, meet Leary and we discuss the connection between religion and brain type.
eg. Christianity, Islam and Hinduism are perfect for the type of brain that wants to abdicate all responsibility, whereas
scientology is good for the pro acative brain that enjoys challenging itself.
It was a good discussion outside the video shop, watching girls go by....

Thursday, January 19, 2006

The idea of a moonchild is an old esoteric belief that one can be totally concious at the moment or orgasm when concieving a child, the ultimate act of creation a human can manifest, this ties in with authentic taoist practise and the tradition of magick which I have followed. Alister Crowley the misunderstood grandfather of contempory magick wrote elusivly about moonchild in his novel of the same name.

Krishnamurti was the Theosophical societies attempt at creating a moonchild, although they could not do the magickal operation or be involved in the conception becuase they were not 100% concerned with the dissemination of truth they did the next best thing and found an suitable Indian boy that they adopted and raised by the societies teachers and schooled in spiritual matters by teachers who them claimed that he was the new Christ, when quite unexpectedly he rejected all their teachings and said, (cut and pasted from ye old internet)

truth is a pathless land and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect. Truth, being limitless, unconditioned, unapproachable by any path whatsoever, cannot be organized; nor should any organization be formed to lead or to coerce people along any particular path. My only concern is to set humanity absolutely, unconditionally free. Man cannot come to it through any organization, through any creed, through any dogma, priest or ritual, not through any philosophic knowledge or psychological technique. He has to find it through the understanding of the contents of his own mind, through observation and not through intellectual analysis or introspective dissection.'

Krishnamurti claimed allegiance to no caste, nationality or religion and was bound by no tradition. He traveled the world and spoke spontaneously to large audiences until the end of his life at age ninety. He said man has to free himself of all fear, conditioning, authority and dogma through self-knowledge and this will bring about order and psychological mutation. The conflict-ridden violent world cannot be transformed into a life of goodness, love and compassion by any political, social or economic strategies, but only through this mutation in individuals brought about through their own observation without any guru or organized religion. The emphasis in his talks and writings is on the psychological barriers that prevent clarity of perception. In the mirror of relationship, each of us can come to understand the content of one`s own consciousness, which is common to all humanity. We can do this, not analytically, but directly in a manner Krishnamurti describes at length. In observing this content we discover within ourselves the division of the observer and what is observed. He points out that this division, which prevents direct perception, is the root of human conflict.
Krishnamurti`s stature as an original philosopher, attracted non-traditional and traditional thinkers and philosophers alike. Heads of various religious organizations held discussions with him, only to hear him repeat his central theme that authority in whatever form-religious, psychological or political-is a hindrance to seeing the truth; man has to be his own guru to bring about psychological transformation. Attending Krishnamurti`s talks in 1961, Aldous Huxley said, "It was like listening to a discourse of the Buddha-such power, such intrinsic authority...." In 1984 he spoke to nuclear scientists at the National Laboratory Research Center at Los Alamos, New Mexico, U.S.A. David Bohm Ph.D., the quantum physicist and friend of Einstein, recognized in Krishnamurti`s teachings parallels with his own revolutionary theories of physics. This led to many years of dialogue between the two men, which helped form a bridge between so-called mysticism and science. Other scientists found his discussions of time, thought and death to be thought provoking.
There can be no learning where there is authority in any form. He stated tirelessly, "We must be very clear on this matter from the very beginning. There is no belief demanded or asked, there are no followers, there are no cults, there is no persuasion of any kind, in any direction, and therefore only then we can meet on the same platform, on the same ground, at the same level. Then we can together observe the extraordinary phenomena of human existence."
Krishnamurti was cool, he had worked out the true meaning of life, and it was his, if you ever see him interviewed ( there are a few films) he has an amazing ability to answer the question abruptly, and in essence always gave a genuine answer and encouraged his followers to find their own. There's been lots of people who try to follow in his steps but very few come close, especially these days, I come across them all the time, jumped up little new age fakes, the self help industry is filled with them, all the great spititual teachers have taught us what we need to know, the rest is just repeated packaging of their stuff.
Incedently the Theosophical society were fractured by his decleration, half left and half said, 'yes this is only what a true teacher would say.'
The major influences upon my path are split in two sections,
the mystics - my grandfather, nature, syncronicity, jung, riech and the tribes, leary and RAW
the magickians - crowley, spare, pete carroll, Hyatt
However my advise to any one who wants to start this process is read the works, get a feeling for what suits you, and test it, then apply what works. You do get to a point where its no longer the journey, it's the results, becuase brothers and sisters talk/type is cheap.
Tired again, worn down by the Autistic world and it's strange currents, with all the control freaks, hungry for my guts and glory, power crazed managements, jumped up dictators, experts and paperwork, ahh meetings, the bane of my existence.
One strange thing did occur which was in the middle of our meeting, i was given a large piece of chocolate cake, rich beyond the wealth of Mayans, richer and creamer than any chocolate cake you can imagine, this was a cake that you did not eat, it ate you, it seduced you with it's shimmer elusive and inviting surface, it's sexy strands of extra dark chocolate coating its exterior sucking you into its dark void the curiosity of what lay beneath pulls you towards it, like an invisible strand around your neck, you're nose gets that first dangerous hit that can only lead to temptation, because before you know it you have taken the first bite of the apple and unconsciously the sequence has to complete itself, hidden layers, cake exploration, uncharted territories that lead to certain transitory satisfaction.
Later I zip over to Mike's and we work on a song together, he's made some electronic number but it's not going anywhere, i felt it's like an introduction, but a fucking good one. I think i can do something with it.
Then I have to meet my dear friends Sue and Simon, two people from the straight world who are just really sound, generous decent people. Unfortunately I am filled with hyper cake, and it's now disseminating itself through my body and brain, unused to such high quality sugars, i can't stop talking, i'm talking about non stop talking, they can't get a word in, it's just verbal mania, words moving through my skull, i think i'm freaking them out, stories about my travels, exerts from me past lives, confessions and strange revelations, comic routines, spiritual lessons, they get it all, in a mad chaotic blurt of information, ouderves, mostly undigestable.
i leave drive to Mike's and watch the tennis, a sport i have not watched since the days of Jimmy Conner, and it's a very good game, from Melbourne some Armenian from an eastern European country is playing a Swedish underdog who is absolutely amazing, the game is close, it's incredible and i am immersed in it till the Swedish chap looses, and still i need to read something, it's late now, perhaps 2 am, i have to be at work at 7am.
At work my colleague is asleep in the lounge, he's out cold so i leave him and do the rest of the stuff that needs to be done, it's a long day as i have to take people to banks, i hate banks, queues, questions, forms, parking, wheelchair's, screaming clients, cashiers and then back to base for a meeting with my boss where i have to offload my various frustrations and then home. Yes home, is where I like to rest my bones.
The cake is wearing off now, the sun is out, there's a nice breeze and I'm thinking about a walk.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Hot and sticky no surf today, just a wet downpour, the heavens opened up like biblical times, joy to behold the sexy Brazilian girl dancing in the streets, while the rest of the European northern beaches ran for shelter, here comes the rain, i love the rain.
Actually I don't like the rain, i like it hot, dry and good conditions for surf.
Well folks I was exhausted and slept a sound sleep last night, waking in time for coffee and a morning debrief with the professor, i saw old James Lovelock has a new book out called Gias Revenge and I think any one that doubts my bleak out look should read this. I should like to point out that I am not a bleak person, i rejoice that civilization is about to end. It's the best thing for this planet and all the wonderful life that inhabits it. Lovelock states that some peoples will survive, possibly in the Arctic. The survivors will be the civilizations that have not changed fundamentally, they will be the humans that escape. Suckers like us, dependent on so many resources for our needs will be fucked. I have made my peace with my god so i really don't mind. It's to late to do anything other than accept the inevitable with an open heart.
I spent my life facing fear, death and me often tango together and it's not so bad, quite relaxing. Anyways lets move on to other things, like music, did i mention i picked up the new Patti Smith package of Horses, Fuck man that's a great album.
It's rare for me to listen to anything other than the church but there is music that is transformative and horses will blow your mind, rip your soul apart and take you into the realms of shamanic experience.
Patti Smith. A girl called Johnny.
So been playing around with a new kind of song, 'Lizards' it's rock and roll, guitars, drums a big base sound and lots of backing vocals.


Welcome to the monkey house
have a banana
you're a Komodo dragon
and your girlfriend's an iguana

laying on rocks in the sun
catching flies just for fun

hanging on to pre history
nonchalant glamorous cool
like two sexy beasts
hanging around the swimming pool

cold blooded reptilian style
shed some skin and make me smile

living life's little luxuries
on a rich man's expense account
merging with your environment
like a chameleon in a monkeys house

I have a on going discussion with a friend who seems to think that it is impossible for a mind to be fully conscious, he thinks that there has to be a subconscious whereas I feel that it is possible to be completely conscious. These are the differences between a Magickian and a Mystic, the Mystic surrenders to the universe, the Magickian controls it. Oh is that arrogant? That man should have control over everything, hey that is the sad and lonely truth, you just choose the easy option all the time. You're responsible for your own life baby.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Three Nights No Sleep.
Intresting events occur in the haze of exhuastion, the twilight of awake and asleep, after a few days there is a strange leak in my aura where things spill in or out, possibly both.
Jaqi and Angie my friends came over, we met in Avalon for lunch, have to say i was looking forwards to seeming them, but i was exhuasted and possibly not the best host, however Agent Stone came to assist, we gave them a tour of Avalon, most of which was spent at Alive eating good food, looking at the wedding pictures. I was enjoying myself, relaxed, flowing, surrounded by girls, people staring at me, rain drizzling down, sun coming out, some reggae song from a long time ago, 'uptown top rankin' playing, when Jaqui asked if i would be the father of her baby, via some program she was involved in. No commitments, just gimmie sperm. I wish all girls were as up front as that, intead we have to play some dumb mating ritual where we both spend masses of cash on dumb things, buy a house, brake up, loose everything, pay for a child I have no contact with, who grows up in an enviroment that hates me, yeah this direct approach has it's advantages. No responsibility but as much access as I want. Fuck that's a better deal than most marrages/divorces.
Later we go for a surf at Newport, massive waves, huge surf, I am struggling to get out there, Angie has borrowed my board but can't quite make it whereas I have the fin, I manage to catch one wave that sends me through the sound barrier, body shudderring, face smacking against the wall of resistance, mind leaves body, time displaced.
Yeah man, then it' home, organise the dog, food water, walk not nessessarly in that order, Agent Stone and I get some supermarket shopping in, she witnesses my liquid fetish for drinks with herbs and powders. Back home I read SK's blog, man he has some weird people responding to him, (yeah i guess i am one to) some one even praying for his soul. Jeez what happened to our sense of humour. Anyways he said he's going bushwalking no blog for a few days, jeez i wish i could go with him, we could do the dmt thing and surf, talk about art and quantum, i have a day off, purrfect. Me and Steve Kilby, like a dream come true. Talking of dreams, i put myself to sleep and embark on dreams of my own.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Supernatural, getting into very interesting territory, looking at the shamanic representation of piercing and the lines that are drawn on cave art through the body, simulating the type of mental pain the shaman goes through when using some dmt forms. Many descriptions of the process, body being torn apart, violent sensations of being eaten by animals, razor blades over skin goes with the shamanic journey. Myself as a youth experienced a period where i had a series of very vivid dreams and flashes of myself being ripped apart, severed and disembodied, dismembered and reassembled. According to tribes peoples this is early sign of shamanic initiation, however Hancock in his book sees this as part of the psychedelic experience as well. Hancock also looks at the cave as a representation of a portal.
This morning I walked through a number of spider webs, my mind being somewhere between sleep and awake brought forwards flashes of spider conciousness.
Each one a great architect.
The sensation of being bathed in spider webs is not pleasant and my fears surfaced early.
I wondered around the old organic markets, had a chat about aspartine with my main man, he reckons it's going to be bigger than cigarettes. Aparently aspartine poisoning is identical to diabeties.We had a laugh at my theory on human beings being the ultimate cash crop, he was talking about rats in labs and i reminded him that we are the rats, only dumber because we see no cages and take our dumb drugs willingly. The Human Race is Run. Anyways i bought a strange spinach mushroom feta thing from a turkish family who were inpressed with my 'Yassassin.'
Fell asleep for a power sleep, woke up with my face flat and drooling.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Learnt two new words.
Therianthropes = part animal, part man, transformation
Phosphenes = abstract patterns and geometries that appear drawn on rock walls and visioned while under hallucigenics or when the brain is stimulated.

Well my friends it's a strange old day in sydney, wet and windy, cool and damp. I spoke to my folks caught up with all the family drama, conflict and general nonscense. You can choose friends but you can't choose family, i guess some say you can but i think that for all intents and purposes most people can't recall having the luxury of choice. Anyway family.
As the brain is changing, family has to change to, the family is basically a tribe, people can choose to live within their tribe, if it it productive and beneficial or they can do what i have done which is to remove myself from my tribe geographically yet be a part of it from afar, starting a sub tribe. However family is like marrage, in the high velocity information exchange humans cannot expect to be partnered to the same person for their lives, it's a nice thought but it is kind of strangly pointless, unless one is luckey enough to have found a soul mate. Personally I have not found one yet, I thought i did once but she slipped by, Marnee where are you?
I have reached a halfway point in my life, and i feel ancient yet my mental state is young, i like to play, i spend as much time catching waves and playing as i do working, even when i work i play. Play is the intelligent way to have fun. There's to many idiots with a work ethic, working just generates a failing system, what we need is a play ethic. I play so hard it feels soft.
Earler I refered tomyself as a Magickian, this may shock some people but it is really where destiny and free will have led me, i avoided the title for many years becuase it requires so much responsibility. Often people ask me what is a Magickian. I say a Magickian is some one who takes full responsibility for their life. There's a lot more to Magick but essentially that's the prerequisite. Magick is Quantum, it's another way of influencing reality. A modern Magickian has no need of a magickal staff, sword cup or wand or whatever tools the ritual magickian had once upon a time. All the Quantum Magickian needs is a brain that operates beyond time and space. Oh yeah we all want one of those, well stick with me and i will show you how. However, the path is freaking hard, it requires disipline, suffering, loss and trauma, it requires that you face death and life and know that there is no difference.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Unmotivated and restless, no surf, weather oppressive and mood melancholy, needing stimulation, i missed my usual rendezvous with Leary this morning but we did catch up for a cocoa this afternoon. Not much to report, we watched the ocean, flat, no surf, affecting my hormones, feeling sad and somewhat at a loose end, wanting some one to play with, i am about to call Agent Stone when my phone rings and it is her, back from Byron Bay, ready to head into the City for fun, games and shoes.
When it comes's to clothes I have a good eye, i knew what looks good on people and what doesn’t, it's a fairly simple procedure. Yes. No. On. Off. In. Out. The girls in the shoe shop offered good service, it was a pretty cute little shop with nice shoes, unfortunately all girls, Agent Stones Boots where called Fairy, they were kind of sexy high heel numbers. She continued buying up big time while I slipped next door for Unaggi.
Cruising through the city at night, everyone on their way out, lots of smiles, waves, friendly people, mini dramas, stopped in a nice cafe for chai, wandered into HUM for a look at cds, picked up Josh Rouse for a few bucks, very mellow, chilled and lovely harmonies as we cruised home. I felt good, in the company of a good friend and a lovely person, I felt like I can just be me, say what I want, do what I want, be what I want. It was a relief after being with the usual straight mentality of work and the northern beaches. Freak Power rocks and rolls baby.
Supernatural took an unexpected turn in the second part, looking at how the French archaeologists and cave painting experts had a monopoly upon all research for the last 50 years, following theories that are weak and unproven, riddled with inconsistencies, Hancock goes on to support the idea that religion occurred when humans took their first mind altering substances, he suggests that dmt is the root of all religious, mystical and spiritual experience, which is what i have been saying for years. Here's an exceprt which i think is very poinent.

'The true shaman must attain his knowledge and position through trance, vision and soul journey to the otherworld. All these states are reached during a shamanic state of conciousness and not by study and application of a corpus of systematic knowledge.'

Enjoying the roads he is taking me down so far, especially the Shamanic experiences which I find reassuring.
My initiation into the shamanic / magickal path took place when i was very young, possibly encouraged by my fathers side of the family, specifically my grandfather who seemed to possess certain spiritual faculties. Grandfather lived in British India, and had built up a small circus into a huge one that employed hundreds of people. The family lived in a large mansion and had servants, my own father left home when he was very young and has vague memories, but recalls his mother being extremely psychic, having numerous prophetic dreams and being considered quite witch like by her friends and the community. My grandfather had always shown a certain interest in mysticism and had studied Kabbala for most of his life, when his wife died he gave away his fortune and went travelling, only to return years later, old and bearded. I met him twice, he looked like Gandalf, had a huge staff that he took with him where ever he went, a dog by his side and a sparkle in his eyes. He had no money but a presence that was magnetic and commanded respect.
Years later I was travelling in Spain with my father, we were sleeping in twin beds when i woke up and told him of a dream i had that involved grandfather. The dream was about me being a scout, a leader in some sort of expedition into a strange landscape. I came upon a huge doorway that was overgrown with shrubs and vines, clearing the stone above i noticed a Hebrew word, Dubbuk, the door mysteriously opened and i found myself in a long corridor. At one end of the corridor was a staff hovering in the distance, as i stood i felt a slight breeze that grew from a pleasant faint sensation to a full force gale, the stick moving towards me until it was in my reach, i grabbed it and the wind died. I felt an overwhelming presence of my grandfather and woke up to tell my dad. He explained that the word Dubbuk meant spirit.
This was the first in a series of dreams and experiences that shaped my early life. At the time I kind of shrugged it off but in retrospect it had a significant place in my evolution as a magickian.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

After being attacked by one of my clients yesterday i feel a bit fragile and in need of a holiday, or at least some time away. This morning the Professor Leary put to me the idea that we go looking for this strange anti cancer fungus that grows outta snails in Tibet to sell in Hong Kong. We calculated it would be a two-week trip, and we would make a small profit as well a noble cause. It was an interesting idea, got me feeling all Bill Burroughs. Well who knows, maybe we need to do more research; anyways it was a good conversation as usual, politics, travelling to dangerous places, religion, and art and last but most importantly smart drugs. Yeah we have uncovered a new drug that appears to be very interesting. Its called Nexus on the streets, but it is known as 2C-B.

A cross between mescaline, MDMA, and speed, but not too much of each. A perfect combo that you can eat, drink but not sleep for 6 hours. Doesn't wear you out. No hangover. There is increased body awareness of every kind, including skin sensitivity, heightened responsiveness to smells, tastes, and sexual stimulation. Mmmm baby.
Doses are 12-24mg, Duration is 4-8 hours. Doses of 100mg have been taken safely. 2C-B seems to be an extraordinarily colourful hallucinogen similar to LSD -- apparently somewhat analytical and disassociate in higher doses or in those sensitive to those effects.
Quote from Ecstasy: The MDMA Story... [begins with a quotation from Alexander Shulgin]: 2C-B... is a tool... which ties the mental processes directly and constructively into the physical soma. The analgesic effects experienced with many, if not most, psychedelic drugs, are not present with 2C-B.
One experiences increased consciousness of physical health and energy, or, on the other hand, sharpened awareness of any body imbalance or discomfort. 2C-B allows for rich visual imagery and intense eyes- closed fantasy without the cluttering up of the mental field with too much elaboration... It is a superb tool for learning and growth.
[...] At high doses (above 30 mgs.), 2C-B is intensely hallucinogenic, and, like any major psychedelic, can be frightening for certain people. In small doses, it becomes a mild sensory enhancer but does not have the strongly empathogenic qualities that MDMA has.
Perhaps the best use that has been found for 2C-B is as a synergist with MDMA. When taken together, the MDMA pushes the non-specific 2C-B reaction in a more warm and empathetic direction. Because 2C-B is a psychedelic drug, and therefore not fully predictable, its action can take the user in many different directions. But if the set and setting are right, 2C-B can enhance the desire for sexual orgasm during an MDMA experience. The synergy of the two substances can on occasion be a true aphrodisiac.
Shulgin writes in PiHKAL:
"The most successful reports have followed a program in which the two drugs are not used at the same time, nor even too closely spaced. It appears that the optimum time for the 2C-B is at, or just before, the final baseline recovery of the MDMA."
And here's what Erowid has to say on the subject:

The effects of 2C-B have been described as a cross between the effects of LSD and MDMA, but that it is nothing like a combination of the two. It is mildly psychedelic, much less mind-expanding or dissociative than mushrooms or LSD, but much less directed than MDMA.
2C-B includes Open Eye Visual (OEV) effects, which are usually described as crawling, shifting, or undulating, or cartooning. Closed Eye Visuals (CEVs) are present and increase with dosage. Many report a 'colour shift' where objects seem to have red / green halos around them.
2C-B has a large 'body' component which some describe as "body tripping." Shulgin and others say that 2C-B can bring body-issues forward or make them more prominent and, in this way, some people say it can be a self-diagnostic tool for bodywork. Many, but not all, people experience stomach discomfort sometimes including mild diarrhoea, gas, nausea and (rarely) vomiting. One user has reported a very a recurrent effect of increased mucus production at the base of the trachea, causing constant coughing during the effects of 2c-b, pseudoephedrine seems to clear this up.
In general, 2C-B has a somewhat 'positive' mood push as well as a mild stimulant effect, but it is far less stimulating and far less forcefully positive than MDMA. Some people find they can sleep once the peak is over (about 60-90mins after the effects start).
Most people experience 2C-B as being much 'lighter' on their body than MDMA with far less 'crash' and much less physically draining. It is also not as 'easy' as MDMA, in that it is more of a 'true' psychedelic -- allowing the users mind to become manifest and create the experience instead of being 'pushed' into a positive mood space as MDMA usually does.
Some people find the stimulating and body effects to combine in a way that is sensual or sexual and Shulgin has said that if an effective aphrodisiac is every discovered, it will probably be patterned after 2C-B. Many people, however, find it very un-sexy with the body effects being experienced as somewhat disquieting.
Some people find 2C-B increases their ability to communicate verbally, while others find themselves unable to elucidate their ideas clearly. Some people describe a type of confusion that can be part of the experience, a type of 'stoned' feeling of mental and physical relaxation or floppiness which can translate in inability or lack of desire to go into complex intellectual processes.
2C-B at medium and low doses has the interested character that it is often quite easy to move into and out of -- that going from feeling very involved in the experience to feeling quite 'sober' can be very fast and sometimes unexpected. Some people describe 2C-B as being more 'plastic' or 'malleable' than other psychedelics because one can learn to manipulate the depth of the effects.
2C-B can be used in some of the same ways MDMA is used for working through interpersonal issues and dealing with emotional conflicts.
'Inappropriate' smiling or giggling is common with 2C-B and other psychedelics.
As with all psychedelics, many people experience the coming up period as being somewhat cold and shivery.
As dose increases, the chance for feelings of fear and uncertainty increase.
As with other entheogens, it is unsafe to drive or use dangerous equipment with 2C-B because it affects attention span, visual acuity, concentration, and coordination. If you work with 2C-B, plan your entheogen experiences carefully and think ahead so you don't ever find yourself needing to drive during the experience.

Well we may be able to swap a bag of sage for some 2CB in the near future, i'd like to try it, in the meantime, i am hunting high and low for my dmt, which like all my herbs seems to get misplaced in the clutter of Mission Control, one day I am going to uncover the mother load and have a shamanic wig out.
Reading my new book called Supernatural, by Graham Hancock, who also wrote Fingerprints of the Gods, a fascinating theory that suggests Inca, Mayan and Olmenec Cultures all share the same mythology, all involve aliens in space suits, flying in hover machines and shooting ray guns. He also suggests that all architecture from these civilizations were in fact built as solar calendars to indicate the cycle of civilization, currently about to restart 12 June 2012, not long now folks. Anyway it is a good read, Supernatural takes a look at dmt in art, religion and the human evolutionary leaps. It's quite interesting and a whole lot better than the spirit molecule, which i have to say was a disappointing read and research that really does little to impressed the continued use of psychedelics.

Monday, January 09, 2006

i never had much common sense, one thing i recall at school was teachers always asked me, 'Mission, don't you have any common sense?' and eventually i guess i just figured i didn't, I mean that’s what teachers taught me, later as i grew i gained a different type of sense a wisdom. Uncommon Wisdom, I called it, Frijop Capra stole the term from me, but that’s ok, it wasn’t really mine anyways. Uncommon Wisdom is like the opposite of common sense, it's the stuff that defies expectation, it's magickal, shamanic and it's something I developed early, possibly because I was born left handed and forced to use my right hand thus a certain ambidextricy in my brain structure. Uncommon Wisdon defies description because it cannot be talked about in logical terms, it is not logical. It's how I know what's going to happen next, it's magical in essence. It's tapping in to Akashik records, it’s tapping in to Holographic Universe and the Quantum elements. It's neither here nor there, it has to be somewhere....

Revelation. Have you read it lately, it’s a beautiful piece of writing, all that weird shit falling from the stars and fiery monsters with 7 heads, antichrists and Armageddon. I am not a christian and i don't believe in religion although i am very interested in it but i like the sci fi elements associated with the bible and revelation is pretty much filled with sci fi stuff. Actually the Old Testament is my fave, i mean, it's the story of a people, a moving people travelling the Middle East, being fucked over by everyone and doing a little fucking over as well, it's got everything, sex, death, emotions, i mean it's very human it's gritty and real with a freaking amazing God who does all these strange interventionist things, prophets and slaves, evil kings and lovers and survival. Yeah it's the human race. It's Us.
Kabbalistically it's another story, i mean the Old Testament, is a code within a code, its the first self help manual to become a godlike. I mean whom ever put it together knew what they were doing, I guess the Old Testament is how Jesus learnt his tricks, he learnt from those wise men at the temple, not just hung out all day getting smashed, he did the exercises, developed his powers and skills and understood the machinations of the universe. We are all daughters and sons of god, we just have to do the work. Move that Kundalini, practise the Middle Path, learn to still the mind and understand the responsibility that goes with being a god.
It’s a responsibility no one really seems to want.
One thing that freaked me out when i read the bible was the story of Abraham and his son. I could never understand why a God would put a man through that kind of test. And what kind of man has that kind of faith in God. It still disturbs me and intrigues me at the same time.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Life is suffering, is a famous Buddhist truth. However I think Buddha was misheard as what he actually said was, Life IS suffering.'
I know I was there and it doesn’t take a genius to work out that he is right. All life on this planet is suffering due to Human kind. Of course most life forms have no concept of why they suffer or even the concept of suffering but that doesn’t change the fact, the truth is, everything is suffering. Why?
I have the answer. It's not a design flaw either. Its just physics.
If everything started with a Big Bang what came before. Another. Therefore logic dictates that in between each bang is some thing else, and this would be the opposite of the Bang. In a Bang, things expand, thus time itself flows forwards. We are living in the face of that explosion, each now is Now. Time flows towards entropy, entropy is the loss of information, a measure of disorder within a closed system, a tendency for all matter and energy in the universe to evolve towards a state of inert uniformity. And Times Arrow takes us to that point. When we reach that point, it has to contract, like a breath, thus time will flow backwards and History will occur backwards. Events will flow towards self correction, species will come back, war will mean the bringing to life of Millions, the dead will live, the sick will heal, the old will enjoy youth, the environment will heal, our relationships will start from hate and anger, fear and mistrust to love. We will forget, we will shrink towards innocence and wonder, we will return to the womb, our mistakes will be our triumphs, Eden will return. God will be pleased again. Everything will be uncreated and then there will be No Light.
Then another expansion. Thus the cycle of suffering begins again.
The only way out my friends is to send me a few dollars. No there is a way out my friends, i have found out what it is and I want to share it with you. The individual must become conscious that they will return to undo what they do and do what they undo; only through such consciousness can our actions be understood. Forgive the killer, the terrorist, the rapist, and the politician who sells our souls, forgive them all. Because when the contraction comes they will bring joy, love, healing, and unity to those they harm now.
Can you forgive?
I find it very hard myself but i work on it. Who said time travelling was easy.
Another emergancy dash to Glebe Markets today, had to get my earing but as usual there were problems, any how it's not a big drama just a small irritation. I smooched around, read the paper, picked up some books and went straight to work, where the guys were pretty relaxed and we chilled out, I started to write a song, still needs work, i got home late, read Steves Blog and now encourage you to do the same. It's beautiful and profoundly moved me.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Mad day off, after a 8 hour sleep, which is excessive for me, normally i sleep 4-5 hours max, but for some reason last night it was a long one. So up for a long walk with Pan and then off to meet Mike at the Mall, he's filled with conspiracy theories about 9-11, global warming and the US right now. It's got to the point now with most people that they are more distrusting of the US than any other govt on the planet. Me, I have no idea, i think they are all politicians; they are all guilty of something.
Anyway, after wandering around we went to see Jim Jaramush's new film, Broken Flowers. Bill Murry plays a lonely old guy visiting his ex lovers trying to find out if they may be the mother of his son whom he only just found out he had. Murry kind of has the acting technique where you project your stuff onto his face, the film happens around him, not to him. It's quite a zen like technique, Jaramush uses very long takes on his subjects, it's an interesting style, although Dead Man is still my fave film.
Then at home I decided to watch an older fave, Man called Horse. Yeah it's dated, a bit kind of cliqued in places but far freakin out its a great film. Richard Harris plays his part so well, the English Lord, disillusioned by his privilege kidnapped by Indians, undergoes the Sun Ritual, a painful initiation into Warrior hood. Fucking Brilliant. I always loved the Indians more than the cowboys, they had better outfits and wore make up, they were not afraid of death; they had cool names and hair. Indians rule.
And my own theory, where the US went wrong. It lost it's esoteric root. It has no connection anymore, like a ship without an anchor, it cannot ever retain it's true identity, it is directionless and drifts aimlessly, neither true to it's spirit or its people. It's just a theory folks, don't get angry, Australia is a similar boat.
And on a more personal note, i saw the girl of my dreams today, she's called Digital Sushi and she lives in Bondi. That's all I really know about her but I think she looks pretty gorgeous. Ho Hum. I wanna capture her soul and spirit and eat it up. Is that bad? Maybe I'll just take her photo instead, same thing really.
I am so bored with political correctness. Can we just get rid of it, what’s wrong with people just saying what they think? If it’s offensive, people can just fuck off.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Grey overcast uninvited like the clouds kind of day turned out quite nice. Took the crew, 5 autistic folk to Scarborough Pub for lunch. It's about an hour south of Sydney, we drove through beautiful National Park as the mist rose above the trees and covered the forest in a mysterious dense layer, and we watched the changing flora and fauna, the hidden treetops, the strange beauty of the austrailian wilderness, harsh like a creul mistress waiting to be tamed. We drove over the new bridge finished recently as the rocks from the cliff destroyed the old road and the geologists discovered the whole face unsafe, 3 years in the making, cutting a coastal community in half, the bridge extends over the ocean and we marvelled at its engineering, driving slowey with the ocean on one side and the magnificent cliff the other.
The guys enjoyed their food, beer and warmth of country locals. Drove back in the rain, all full of adventure, joy and a warm satisfying feeling.
Yep sometimes I truly love my job.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Nasty Ear Infection.
Went to medical centre but she sent me away, no appointment, surgery full, not the right haircut, aura to purple or something. Tried Holistic Med Centre, Dr's all sick. Oh the irony. Go to four other drs and each time I am turned away. I realize that I have no dr that is my own. The last time I saw a Dr. was when I broke my arms and legs, skull and elbows and knees - that was only because i woke up in freakin hospital. My friends used to come and sneak me down the beach in a wheelchair, that was when i had friends, now i just have the Professor and Mike and some friendly like acquaintances. Ahh but the great God Pan is my friend, eerr, sorry the Great Dog Pan.
My ear hurts and I am not sure what to do.
I think I am frightend that the evil dr will say 'No Surfing.'
Okay so I managed to get an appointment for five o clock, and i got some ear drops from the evil drug corps, it's an outer ear infection, no surf for 5 days.
Hung out at home, had a siesta, took Pan for a walk and read some stuff. Feeling a bit lonely, introspective, wondering about getting my shit organized for exhibit in March.
Then some Guardian Angel intervention, i see a few friendly folks have added some comments and I am not as alone as i think. Welcome aboard people, this ship flies the freak flag high, we are setting sail again, next port will be somewhere in the past, possibly The Middle Ages, so dress appropriatly and if you're a witch be cool. But there's no telling really, space time travel is slightly unpredicatable.
I did flick through Stephen Hawkings new book on Intergers, that would be a challenge for me. I got to page three on Elucid and started to strain the Left brain, think i'll stick to my new book on the Middle East, 'Why Blame Isreal?' which is proving to be a fantastic and accurate assessment of the middle east conflict. Although it is not going to get any exposure due to its politically incorrect stance and unfashionable ability to look at the situation with a untainted perspective and no hidden adgendas. It has to be the most refreshing look at the conflict I have ever read and I recomend it to every journalist and left wing university lecturer. In fact any one reporting from the mid east should read it. Except Robert Fisk who needs to be kidnapped by extreemists and put out of his misery. Which reminds me.
Fave actors
John Malcovitch

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Big day. After my night shift i went into the city to meet Proffesor Leary at Red Eye. Saw some intresting pink floyd dvds and some Hawkwind ones, i picked up their new one, has a version of spirit of the age i haven't heard it yet but i am curious. Then off to China with Leary for a wander around the Hive City. Around mid day i began to start having withdrawls, surfing the waves gets into yr mind like a healthy smack habit, my body got all craving feelings and overwhelming impulses, strange urges to emerse itself in H2o. I dragged Leary back to beach, but shock horror, filled with seaweed, so we trek to next beach Bilgola, ye most trecherrous beach in Sydney. Ramblling over rocks, accross, beds of seaweed and strange carpets of popping aqua plants past the pool to the beach.
Surf huge, messy choppy and dangerou, I am sucked out, almighty rip, Neptune sends his waves, the sky turns grey and I say to an older man nearby, 'Mans gotta know his Limitations.'

Monday, January 02, 2006

Cool banannas I managed to post this piece without any stress. Finished The Summons, it finished well, but i felt could have gone a lot further, it was also quite typically academic in its portrayal of events. Very lazy day, a lot cooler, managed to do domestic stuff and get some minor chores outta the way. Feel a bit unmotivated.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

It must be the hottest day ever in the history of the planet, first day of 2006 and i finished work and went straight for surf. It's messy brothers and sisters but the one wave that hurled me through the space-time barrier was worth it. Now earlier in the piece Aline asked about a drug company curing selfishness with a drug it had manufactured.
Lets consider the options. Firstly any drug company operating at the moment needs to be looked at through cynical lenses. So we would need to consider what do the drug company get out of a cure for selfishness? Is the drug safe? What are the side effects? How is it distributed and who has access to it? Perhaps if all Americans where given the drug free or it was administered in their cornflakes, without any one knowing, the planet would change radically, perhaps if the rich were given the drug, the distribution of wealth may balance itself but really if a drug company had a cure for selfishness what form would it take, pill, injection, methinks gene manipulation possibly. Okay so what does the drug company hope for? It's motives will not be benevolent; such is the nature of drug companies.
But there is a deeper much more philosophical question that needs to be investigated. This is the spiritual one. If one can take a short cut to learn unselfishness, is it not denying the individual the journey to the destination, after all it is the journey not the arrival that makes travelling an evolutionary path worthwhile.
Let's look at the young man who observes the larva eating and struggling its way out of the cacoon. He watches in wonder as the little thing pushes and rips at the cacoon to escape its confines, a poor little thing, faced with an overwhelming battle, for hours it pushes apart the skin of the cacoon. The observer faced with unselfish consciousness intervenes and assists the moth by prying open the cacoon with the end of his pencil. The result is the moth clambers out. But the observer notices a deformity, its limbs have not built up the muscle it needs to form structural integrity, it is crippled, it cannot fly and hobbles out from the cacoon. The observer acts honourably, unselfish in intent but the results are chaos for the creature.
So i think that the idea of a pill to instant cure to selfishness from external factors usually have ramifications that lead to entropy and not harmony.
So your question, 'What happens to the Ally man?'

The DNA engineering requires a cloning procedure to create the unselfish version. Once this version has been cloned the drug company has to obliterate all evidence of the original, so he is incinerated. The clone lives an unselfish life. Neither doing harm to himself or to his environment and peers. However side effects of cloning include rapid aging and an overwhelming sensation of loss and incompleteness. These result in psychiatric conditions that are treated with further experimental drugs, compounding the health of the clone. However with the right kind of care the clone manages to live a relatively normal existence until the build up of repressed selfishness results in a killing spree at the local school where several children and teachers are murdered in a jealous rage. At the court case the Clone is able to have charges dismissed as at the time he was insane, and he is also able to sue the Drug Company for an undisclosed sum, rumoured to be in the billions.
Currently the Clone is on a secret island location cloning himself in the hope of reaching eternal life. However all subsequent clones are selfish and plot against him, resulting in death and anarchy.